The Church is meant to be a body, not a collection of Lone Rangers. To speak of being “members” of one another, it isn’t “members” in the sense that we are some sort of private club that people just opt in and out of based on whether they like the benefits. Our connection to one another as “members of each other” should look more like family, like the way your arm, leg, or eye is connected to your body. The most common usages of “members” in the New Testament in reference to Christians are to immediately connect this idea to being parts of a same body.
It is a challenge to live up to this in a culture that is founded on individualism. To suggest we have ownership of each other, accountability to each other, and an obligation to stick together and work through our challenges goes against everything the American consumerist mindset teaches us to think.
Compassionate, Experiential Wisdom
The right question to ask as a member of a body is, “What can I give?” or “How can I contribute?”
One of the great benefits of the church is that it is—by intention—a multi-generational group of believers from varied backgrounds. There isn’t ethnicity, gender, or anything else that is to serve as a bar to belonging fully in the Church. What the world uses as excuses for division and categorization, the Church refuses to be limited by.
The amount of experiential wisdom that we can share with another is a dearly valuable part of the Church. We have varied skills and talents. One person might could guide you well as a teenager how to navigate your big choices as a person of faith. Another could help you cope with a debilitating illness or unexpected loss, because of what they’ve lived through. Another person might have refined skill in an important area such as financial management, security risks, or audio/visual equipment that the church needs to do with excellence. Yet another might be of special value to outsiders because they spent time in the world before coming to Christ, and they understand the mindset and needs of people in similar circumstances. Whoever you are, because of who you are, you bring something important to the table.
But even beyond this, one of the most important things you can contribute to the people around you is your own presence. Bowen Family Systems Theory teaches much about the importance of having people in every system—especially leaders—who have a “non-anxious presence.” This is someone who can listen well, practice empathy, and remain calm when someone else is enduring a storm.
How do we get through the worst crises in life? We lean on each other. Church is a great place to heal. Your Christian family, if we live up to God’s intentions for us, are an ever-supportive group of people who have your best interests at heart.
The benefits of sharing in the experience of Church life with other faithful, talented people are numerous.
Types of Community
At the very least, every Christian who is physically able should make it a point to participate regularly in the assemblies of the Church. It’s literally what the term translated “church” means. “Ekklesia” is a common word in Greek, used in many contexts simply to mean an “assembly.” To be part of the church, is to be someone who gathers with the church.
And it isn’t just about what happens in worship or in class time, but also the spaces between that are so important. Conversations in the hallway, at a table over coffee, or ones that happen more discreetly are all very important.
Smaller Groups
There are many opportunities for deeper connections with groups smaller than the primary assemblies.
- Classes
- Life Groups
- Service Groups
- Recreational Groups
- Age-Based Groups
- Interest-Based Groups
- Lunch/Dinner after Church
Spiritual Companionship
It can be helpful to find a person with whom you connect at a more intentional level. For me, this has often looked like spending one year at a time, getting together with someone monthly in order to check on each other and pray for each other.
Many do similar things through group Bible studies, digitally or in-person, and prayer groups.
Spiritual Direction
Spiritual Direction is an ancient practice, though not one we’ve often spoken of in the Restoration Movement until more recently. Spiritual Direction, in some ways, resembles counseling. In other ways, it is distinct.
Counseling is generally an effort to solve a problem or dilemma. You meet for 4-6 sessions for most problems, or longer for more pronounced ones, hoping to resolve the issue, habit, or disagreement. When the issue is solved, the regular visits to the counselor generally decrease or stop entirely.
Spiritual Direction is more about companionship. It is often an ongoing relationship that lasts years. The person directing takes more of a mentoring role. But the fundamental question that drives Spiritual Direction conversations is: “How is God at work in your life right now?,” or “How might God be trying to shape you in your present circumstances?”
Some conversations are hard or confrontative. Some are casual and laid back. Some are joyful and celebratory. In all of these, the companionship continues, as does the attentiveness to the work of God in the person’s life as they go through various seasons. The director attempts, at all times, to be attentive both to the person they are tending to, as well as to God.
Though group spiritual direction is also a possibility, most of my own experiences and training are for one-to-one connections. The practice has been of enormous benefit to me personally.
Journaling
So journaling may be an odd fit for content about Christian Community, but it has some important overlap in several areas.
I started the practice regularly in 2010, and it has become central to my own spiritual practices. There are a lot of different ways you can journal, and I personally keep several going simultaneously for different purposes. Here are some different approaches you could use to writing things down in intentional ways:
- Prayer Journal. Write down prayers to God.
- Life/Mood Tracker Journal. “Here’s something good today. Here’s something hard today.”
- Goal Progress Tracking Journal. “Here’s what my goal is, and here’s how I am progressing.”
- Letters to Your Children Journal. I love this one. For each of my children I have a journal where I have written down many of our memories and milestones together, giving them my perspective on what it was like to be their father during the earliest years of their life prior to their active memories. I’ll give it to them as a gift in adulthood.
- Mission Trip Journal. I have one I only use when I’m traveling on mission trips to record memories and experiences.
- Ideas to Keep Journal. For every book I read which has ideas I don’t want to forget, I have a journal where I write down the best ideas I encounter. I don’t write from front to back. Instead I write sections in groupings based around topics. For example, even if I read three books on Leadership at totally different times, the notes I write down will be in the same section of the journal. I have an index in the back so I can always locate the ideas I want to recall.
- Major Life Event Journal. This one is unique. I have one journal that I only write in once every 5-6 years, or whenever I have something absolutely huge happen in life.
The reason I love journaling is that it gives you ability to say definitively:
Here are the specific ways I’ve grown in my faith and understanding in the last (month/year/five years)…
This is a faith-growing practice because you’ll have an effective way to look back over your life and see (a) what you were excited or worried about, (b) what eventually happened, and (c) how God may have been at work in all of it.
Journaling is a way to be a companion to yourself. But it is also a useful tool as you connect with other people to be able to have good access to your memories and experiences. You’ll learn from them, and you might be able to share them, too.
Don’t Go Through Life Alone
There are limitless options for how you might connect with other Christians. There is no reason to go through life by yourself, in the good seasons or the bad. Who do you choose to include? How do you include them?
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